MY HATE

DANE COOK. what an unfunny stupid ass meat head talentless idiot. You cant go to the gym and be funny, there's nothing funny about being in shape.

TWO: Everyone who loves that lame ass candy coated excuse for a comedian. I thought being a comedian and being funny were related, apparently not, this poor excuse for a person has pulled the cloak over a nation full of (i now know) humorless teenagers and beer drinkers. WHAT A DOUCHE. For real.

• One. Cobra Snake
• Two. Dim Mak
• Three. Hitler
• Four. Nazis
• Five. Haircuts
• Six. Those fucking jeans with horseshoes on the pockets
• Seven. Girls that wear dunks
• Eight. Dudes who weigh less then their girls
• Nine. Diamonds
• Ten. Kids who talk about bands
• Eleven. The sound indie kids make when they talk
• Twelve. Snitches
• Fourteen. Mayonnaise
• Fifteen. Door Lists
• Sixteen. The DaVinci Code
• Seventeen. DJs whose names are followed by clubs they spin at in ()
• Eighteen. Lipstick Lesbians
• Nineteen. People who keep it 'real'
• Twenty. People who say things like, 'stay up homie'
• Twenty One. People who say things like, 'bra, for real bra'
• Twenty Two. Gym folk
• Twenty Three. All frats and people who have been in or are related to anyone that has ever been in a frat
• Twenty Four. Nike parties
• Twenty Five. Dead Batteries
• Twenty Six. People who say things like, 'cheer up'
• Twenty Seven. People that front
• Twenty Eight. People that talk about money
• Twenty Nine. People who dont have money
• Thirty. Millies on Sunset
• Thirty One. Security guards who get in peoples fucking business
• Thirty Two. People who BBQ with the grill open
• Thirty Three. Anticipation
• Thirty Six. Over priced shit on craigslist. Are you kidding, 500 dollars for your old shitty furniture? Fuck you
• Thirty Seven. Large music festivals, namely coachella, specifically because you cant hear the music, its over crowded, all the people are lame, and its too hot. always
• Thirty Eight. People who recycle other peoples trash. I hate when someone takes what you just threw into a trash can out of the can and puts it in the proper receptacle
• Thirty Nine. Being unable to find a bagel shop within walking distance
• Forty. Chicks who have allergic reactions on their skin/face.
• Forty One. L.A kids who move to NY and come back as NY kids.
• Forty Two. People from Santa Cruz who front like they're from Oakland.
• Forty Three. Cha Cha
• Forty Four. People who say "___" is the new black.
• Forty Five. KOI on La Cienega
• Forty Six. Platform Flip Flops.
• Forty Seven. Fall Out Boy - pussies
• Forty Eight. Coldplay
• Forty Nine. Small guys who talk big
• Fifty. Working
• Fifty One. Having to decide on a car scent at the car wash.
• Fifty Two. This fucking guy on the internet who put a mac mini in his delorean and shows it at car shows. fuck you, im gonna rip the mini out of the car and beat you with it when i find you.
• Fifty Three. Poor matte jobs on frames, get some class.
• Fifty Four. Feeling guilty about enjoying fast food.
• Fifty Five. People who are involved in things like, campaigning for the environment, suck it.
• Fifty Six. The fighter pilots who killed al zarqawi. way to go idiots, like they needed more of an excuse to wanna kill us, you go and fuck up their leader.
• Fifty Seven. Peace in the middle east.
• Fifty Eight. People who watch the world cup but dont watch futbol the other four years but talk about the world cup like they watch futbol the other four years.
• Fifty Nine. When you forget you are boiling water and it evaporates and you burn the pan.
• Sixty. Living out the real life 'Office Space'
• Sixty One. Having a sinking feeling in my gut.
• Sixty Two. The fact that North Korea IS GOING TO KILL US. them or any number of other countries.
• Sixty Three. Coming to realizations about your age. For instance, I dont enjoy miniature golf anymore, i cant even fake it.
• Sixty Four. That i bought a scoomba and it didnt do the job.
• Sixty Five. That i buy shit all the time and am still not happy.
• Sixty Six. People who repeat information. I got it the first time.
• Sixty Seven. Hotel swimming pools.
• Sixty Eight. That every shoe company has hopped on the 'celebrity designer' bandwagon.
• Sixty Nine. Sparklers that dont sparkle forever.
• Seventy. Football. faggots in tights slapping their pals asses.
• Seventy One. The format of this site, somebody fucking help already.
• Seventy Two. Anybody who references someones top 8. fuck you loser.
• Seventy Three. Boring bars with sober women.
• Seventy Four. Starting the day off on a good note. And then puking
• Seventy Five. Getting into work only to find out that work is exactly what it sounds like, work.
• Seventy Six. When assholes give me flyers for their shitty parties. I'm not going to your party bra, its at UCLA you college fuck..
• Seventy Seven. Getting hard while in a session with clients and having to work through it.
• Seventy Eight. I hate that 77 is fucking true.
• Seventy Nine. When i smile, people tell me its nice to see me loving and not hating. Im not loving. im just not hating that hard.
• Eighty. This asshole in Canda who got me banned from ebay. you fucking cock sucker. you love the internet, dick head.
• Eighty One. That the new Silverlake / Williamsburg fashion accessory is your baby.
• Eighty Two. That I know that.
• Eighty Three. Fleeting moments.
• Eighty Four. That just yesterday i was going to start a website called. IFUCKINGLOVETHATSHIT.com
• Eighty Five. Dumb ass motherfuckers concerned with Lindsay Lohan's panty-less pussy. Who gives a fuck?
• Eighty Six. Carlos Santana. wow.
• Eighty Seven. I hate blog sites. i hate that this is a blog site. maybe i should post porn.
• Eighty Eight. I tried posting porn. and hated it.
• Eighty Nine. I hate that we arent making love right now, the rain coming down outside and a scott walker album playing in the background. heard beneath the sounds of your moans.
• Ninety. Mid century, dutch modern, shabby chic, danish, vintage, kewl furniture. i hate you.
• Ninety One. September 1st.
• Ninety Two. Waking up. Im sick of fucking waking up.
• Ninety Three. On November 28, 2006, U.S. District Judge James Robertson ordered the Treasury Department to begin designing its banknotes to include accessibility features for people with blindness and other visual impairments. Apparently there has been a discussion circulating amongst various crowds and within various circles about making our currency "blind" friendly. Yes. They, the blind, want the money changed because it is difficult for them to differentiate between the different denominations. I'm white but I don't demand the government put some kind of screen over the sun so I don't get skin cancer.Why can't they just carry $1 coins, they can't have that much money who hires a blind person? What's next? Are they going to want a language of their own so they can read? Why can't the dog count the money? What's next, midgets wanting everything taken off the high shelves at stores so they can reach? Maybe they should team up and the midgets can count the money and tell the blind guy where to reach. I have asthma, and its like, baby that's life. I'm not walking around all mopey and pissed off cause I cant breathe. I mean, I can count my money, so that's rad, but seriously this shit is going to far, its like an epidemic. Everyone wants everything. Everyone wants their whiny voice to be heard over the crowd of whiners. "I wanna count my money", "I wanna have something to eat", "I want shoes", bitch bitch bitch. What happened? Where are the Gary Coopers? What happened to taking it standing up? What the hell is happening to us? If we let the blind get their money they will start banking more, they will start to buy things, and we will all become slave to their whims. I say stand up and demand that your money remain ugly (and uniform in size). Or don't, whatever, I just think its funny that blind people are worried about their money and not when the fucking governments gonna stop wasting money in Iraq and build them all robot eyes. fucking blind people.
• Ninety Four. Your face.
• Ninety Five. Motherfucking dumb ass people who cant figure out that their place in this whole thing. Man, you work at a fucking jiffy lube, change my oil and shut the fuck up.
• Ninety Six. Youtube and the new age of digital shit making.
• Ninety Seven. Indie film makers, come on now. you are indie because money wont touch you.
• Ninety Eight. That i know who is behind sept.11th and it sure as fuck isnt Osama.
• Ninety Nine. The feeling i get when I walk into a building.
• One Hundred. One Hundred and Im not nearly done.
• One Hundred One. That given the chance to do it all over again. I would.
• One Hundred Two. All these complaining ass fools jockeying for a place high up on the hate ladder.
• One Hundred Three. The sea
• One Hundred Four. Being uncomfortable around people while eating.
• One Hundred Five. Joans on Third
• One Hundred Six. Area
• One Hundred Seven. Lindsay Lohans Pussy. It looks like drapery.
• One Hundred Eight. My car got hit. my knee is fucked. i am hungover. today is a good day to die. or to kill. so i guess my hate is this, i hate that i will kill and die today.

• One Hundred Nine. Spring Fucking Break and all the fucking assholes that come along with it.

• One Hundred Ten. My neighbor who honked his car horn for 7 hours last night and i will kill him when i see him. Fucking hate car horns

• One Hundred Eleven. Cory kennedy that little slut.

• One Hundred Twelve. That Baudrillard is dead.

• One Hundred Thirteen. Mencia. What a talentless hack.

• Magic. Im so sick of magic, magicians, and the notion of magical things occuring. I spent the last decade waiting for magical things, I quit.

• Tibet.

• Bob Marley. tired.

• Santana. You are the guy who makes music with guys in bands like Fall Out Boy. (yes. a repeat)

• Cant say it enough, Fall Out Boy. fuck you.

• Little mexican emo girls who cry when they come.

• Guys who collect limited edition vinyl toys and have small asian girlfriends who look like vinyl toys.

• Video confessionals on YouTube, shut the fuck up.

• Anxiety Dave.

• This biting ass cock sucker who started his own page called "I Hate This", fucking jock.

• I hate people that walk around all day drinking water out of the same plastic bottle that they keep re-filling day after fucking day. Maybe i hate water. I dont hate water, no. its the people i hate.

• Accusatory ass prosecutors.

• Bands that join back up in 2007 to make an album that sounds like it was made in 1983.

• De La Hoya and Mayweather

• I hate Karmann Ghia's that sit in upholstery shops for 8 months cause the owner is too fucking busy to get it together and pick the fucker up and take it to another shop to have the headliner put in. fuck. and then everyone who asks about the ghia and having to explain that its probably never gonna make it back, that its gone, that i once had a ghia and then didnt. Im gonna rip somebodies fucking head off if i dont get that car back soon. i never even liked driving, what the fuck.

• sex in my new mercedes. wont do it.

•

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p.s or make lov